


Three Men And A Baby (And A Bottle of Scotch)

by lachatblanche



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: A Minor One But Still, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Babies, Existential Crisis, Gen, Humor, M/M, Three men and a baby AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9481112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lachatblanche/pseuds/lachatblanche
Summary: Charles, Tony and Steve are three housemates enjoying a happy and carefree life of confirmed bachelorhood.Until one day there's a knock on the door and they find a mysterious package waiting for them outside ...A 'Three Men and a Baby' AU





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Gerec](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gerec/pseuds/Gerec) in the [xmenrarepairs17](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmenrarepairs17) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
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> Three Men and a Baby AU - Erik, Logan and Charles are best friends living the good life in NYC, sharing a gigantic penthouse apartment where they host lavish parties and their innumerable meaningless one-nights stands of the same and opposite sex. Everything is going swimmingly well until one day, someone drops off a baby with a note in a bassinette, stating one Charles Xavier is the father of said little boy or girl. The mother is nowhere to be found and so the three friends are forced to take the baby into their home (and then into their hearts), falling in love with the child (and one another) in the process. Happy ending!
> 
> Can also work with the Steve/Charles/Tony!

If anyone in the past year had bothered to ask Charles, Steve or Tony what was the worst thing that could possibly happen to them, then – for Charles and Tony at least – the answer would have been – word for word – exactly what was happening to them right now.

‘What is it?’ Tony hissed, staring wide-eyed at the straw bassinet that was laying a few paces away from their doorway.

‘I think we all know what it is, Tony,’ Steve said, sounding completely expressionless, his eyes similarly focused on the tiny cot that had – seemingly magically – appeared on their doorstep.

‘Should we call the police?’ Charles asked anxiously. He was biting his lip and staring apprehensively at the basket. ‘I mean, this can’t be legal, can it?’

‘I’m with Charles,’ Tony said quickly. ‘We should call the cops, pronto. Or a lawyer.’ His eyes traced over the fluffy blue blanket covering the top of the bassinet and he swallowed. ‘Yeah, we should definitely call a lawyer.’

‘Why do we need a lawyer?’ Charles stared at him, appalled.

‘Oh trust me,’ Tony said grimly. ‘You’d be surprised at just what you’d need a good lawyer for.’ He paused. ‘Or maybe you wouldn’t,’ he said with a shrug.

‘That’s great Tony,’ Steve interrupted him, sounding distracted. ‘But is anyone going to actually – you know’, he glanced uneasily at the others as they turned to him, ‘… going to go and actually _look_ at it?’

Charles looked at Tony. Tony looked at Charles. They both turned and looked at Steve.

‘Oh for—’ Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he opened his eyes and sighed. ‘Fine. I’ll go and look.’

‘Good man,’ Charles said, sounding relieved. ‘Now keep an eye out for a return address, would you, there’s a good ch—’

And then they all jumped when a movement made the basket suddenly shake.

‘Oh fuck,’ Tony swore, looking nearly terrified as he clutched onto Steve’s arm. ‘It _moved_ ,’ he said hoarsely.

‘That’s – that’s a good thing, right?’ Charles’s voice was oddly strained. ‘I mean surely it would be worse if it _didn’t_ move, right?’

Steve gave them both a look. ‘How the two of you have the highest IQs in the country is a mystery,’ he muttered, before shaking them both off and stepping forward. ‘I’m going in.’

Charles and Tony watched as Steve cautiously made his way over to the basket. He paused by its side, before slowly, carefully lowering himself to the ground.

‘There’s a note,’ he said quietly, not looking up at them.

‘What does it say?’ Charles whispered immediately, craning his neck.

Steve shrugged before carefully reaching out and slowly picking up the note that lay on top of the blankets between one finger and a thumb. He let out a breath when the note was safely in his hands and then, casting an anxious look at his two roommates, he took a deep breath and unfolded the note. He went still.

‘What does it say?’ Charles asked again.

‘Don’t leave us hanging here, Cap,’ Tony agreed, jiggling his foot in nervous impatience.

Steve slowly looked up. He turned to look at Charles, his eyes wide. ‘It says—’ he paused and then cleared his throat. ‘It says … Charles, it says it’s yours.’

Charles froze.

Beside him, Tony deflated. ‘Oh thank fuck,’ he said, almost collapsing in relief. ‘Thank fuck, thank Christ, _thank you_ , I owe you one Big Guy, you really pulled through for me, _fuck_ —’

‘Tony,’ Steve snapped. He tilted his head towards the basket. ‘ _Language._ ’

‘Oh fuck, yeah.’ Tony shook himself. ‘I mean – yeah. Sorry. Not in front of the baby.’

They all froze. It was the first time that any of them had said the ‘b’ word.

‘Oh my god,’ Charles said faintly.

Steve turned to look at Charles, his expression full of compassion. ‘Charles?’ he said gently. ‘Are you okay?’

Charles didn’t respond. He looked white and was holding himself completely still, as if shell-shocked.

‘Whoa.’ Tony looked at him in concern. ‘You all right there, buddy?’

‘A baby,’ Charles said blankly. ‘There’s a baby.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve said, looking apologetic.

‘And … it’s mine.’ Charles’s eyes were widening with dawning horror. ‘The – the baby. It’s _mine_? I have a – a—’

‘A son,’ Steve said gently. ‘You have a son, Charles. His name is David.’

‘Mazel tov,’ Tony said lamely, giving him a weak smile.

‘Oh dear.’ Charles looked ill. ‘I think I need – er—’

‘To sit down?’ Steve asked. 

‘A large scotch?’ Tony offered.

‘Yes,’ Charles nodded gratefully. ‘Those, both of those. Especially the scotch.’

Steve sighed as Charles slumped to the floor, even as Tony hurried to get the drinks. ‘I don’t think that this is the right time to be drinking, Charles,’ he said seriously. 

‘Wrong,’ Tony said as he reappeared with a bottle and three glasses in tow. ‘This is _exactly_ the right time to be drinking.’

‘Thanks,’ Charles gasped as Tony handed him a glass. He immediately threw back his head and downed it in one. ‘Another, please.’

Tony was quick to comply, even as Steve watched disapprovingly from where he was sat by the basket.

Charles’s nerves felt more fortified after a second glass. He lowered the tumbler and turned to Steve. ‘Who—’ he began, before stumbling a little. ‘Does it say whose – who the mother is?’

Steve looked at him sadly. ‘It says Gabrielle,’ he said quietly. ‘No last name.’

‘Oh.’ Charles swallowed. ‘Gaby. It’s Gaby’s. Gabrielle Haller,’ he explained as Steve and Tony looked on in silence. ‘Brilliant mind, and beautiful to boot. I thought—’ he faltered. ‘I thought she was in Israel.’

‘Apparently not,’ Tony murmured, even as Steve silently handed the note over to Charles.

Charles glanced at it for a bare second and then crumpled it up in his fist. ‘It doesn’t _say_ anything,’ he said, looking at his friends with a lost, plaintive expression. ‘It just …’ He trailed off and shook his head. He did not resist when Tony gently took the crumpled note from his fingers and unfolded it.

  
_Charles_ , it read.

_I am sorry._

_His name is David. He’s yours._

_Gabrielle._  


‘Well shit,’ Tony said, blinking at the words. ‘Charles … I’m sorry, man.’

Charles sat there, looking helpless. ‘What do I do?’ he asked numbly.

‘Well … does Gaby have any relatives?’ Steve asked.

Charles shook his head. ‘No,’ he said. ‘She’s an orphan. Like me.’

Steve and Tony looked at each other.

‘Then – I guess you need to figure out what you want to do.’

‘Do?’ Charles repeated.

‘He’s asking if you want to keep the kid, Charles,’ Tony said apologetically.

Charles didn’t answer.

‘We’re behind you whatever you choose,’ Steve said, meeting Charles’s eyes. ‘We’re here for you no matter what.’

Charles shook his head. ‘Gaby – Gaby left him to me,’ he said helplessly. ‘She didn’t give him up. She gave him to _me_.’ He turned to the others. ‘I think – I think I need to keep him.’ He looked alarmed even as he said the words.

Steve and Tony shared another glance.

‘You know you don’t have to do this,’ Steve said quietly. ‘There’s no shame in that, Charles.’

‘No judgement,’ Tony agreed, looking uncharacteristically serious.

‘I know,’ Charles said, nodding even as he looked at them both gratefully. ‘I know. But – I think I have to try.’

Steve nodded. ‘Okay then.’

Charles’s expression suddenly fell. ‘I don’t—’ he choked. ‘I don’t actually know anything about children,’ he whispered.

‘We’ll help you,’ Steve said at once, looking earnest.

Tony snorted. ‘Speak for yourself,’ he muttered. At Steve’s glare, however, he relented. ‘I guess I can be the cool uncle,’ he grumbled reluctantly.

The look Charles sent him at that was far too grateful; Tony, embarrassed, had to look away. ‘So,’ he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ‘What now?’

Charles looked alarmed when they both turned to him. ‘I don’t know,’ he protested, running a hand through his hair the way he always did when he was feeling tense. ‘What – what do you think we should do?’

‘We?’ Tony muttered.

Both Charles and Steve ignored him.

‘Well,’ Steve said slowly. ‘I guess there’s a lot of stuff that we need to do … a lot of stuff that we _need_ , but first—’ He looked up at Charles. ‘Do you … do you maybe want to look at him?’ he asked gently.

Charles looked back with wide eyes. Then he took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Yes,’ he said, standing up. ‘Yes. I do.’

Steve smiled at that. ‘Come on then,’ he said quietly, and wordlessly, Charles crept forward.

It took a moment for Charles to screw up his courage and actually _look_ , but when he finally did, he felt his heart catch.

‘Oh,’ he whispered. ‘He’s so small.’

‘It’s a baby,’ Tony said from just behind him, although for once his voice was soft instead of sarcastic. ‘That’s pretty much how they come.’

Charles nodded absently, and gazed down at the sleeping figure, small and soft and covered with blankets. ‘Hello,’ he said, looking down at the baby – _his_ baby – and feeling a strong knot of emotion tug inside his chest. ‘Hello baby.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Hello _David_.’

David opened one sleepy eye and a movement that might have been a smile graced his lips for the barest of seconds.

‘Oh,’ Charles breathed, hopelessly charmed. 

And as Steve and Tony joined him on either side, one grasping his arm in solidarity, the other peering curiously into the bassinet, Charles started to think that maybe – just _maybe_ – there was a chance that he might be able to handle this.

Of course, that thought was completely obliterated when, two seconds later, baby David opened his mouth, and began to _scream_.

**Author's Note:**

> Cue shenanigans with three (well TWO - Steve is actually a proper grown-up) hopeless grown men trying to figure out how to look after a baby while still living life to the fullest. Of course they soon all grow to love baby David and - perhaps more surprisingly to them all - they grow to love each other too, and they all end up living happily ever after in a wonderful poly relationship, and David grows up happy and adored by his three wonderful and super-hot dads! :D


End file.
